NEW Apple Products Perfect For Gift Giving

Apple finally announced today what many industry analysts had long suspected; Apple is moving into products outside electronics. “People love Apple’s unique product designs for iPods, iPhones and our complete computer line,” said Apple spokesman Tony Clifton. “By moving into the consumer goods space, Apple is finally making it possible for discerning consumers to live their own iLives on their terms.”

Reaction on Wall Street has been swift as tech stocks across the board are climbing thanks to Apple’s stunner of an announcement.

“Many analysts have been gun shy about predicting Apple would release these products for the holiday season on 2010,” said Latka Gravas of Price Waterhouse. “There were rumors Apple might move in this direction but the industry thought these products would get released on April 1st of 2010 and now they are here just in time for Christmas. Steve Jobs has fooled everyone again.”

“Consumers are going to find that yes, even Apple has a sense of humor,” said Clifton. “Yes, the iDied is real. Steve Jobs felt that by winking at a normally serious situation (such as death) the deceased could say to their loved ones, ‘Yes I am gone, but my sense of humor and love for Apple products lives on.’ We think its going to sell great”

Other products are more utilitarian such as the iQuench. “It’s simply a thirst quencher that plugs into your Macbook’s USB port,” said Clifton, “and ideal for travelers as TSA has no rules on USB powered beverages.”

For more information, Mr. Clifton said the products would be on sale December 7th in order to capitalize on the holiday gift giving rush.












































































































































Edward Domain: Edward is the founder and CEO of Techli.com. He is a writer, U.S. Army veteran, serial entrepreneur and chronic early adopter. Having worked for startups in Silicon Valley and Chicago, he founded, grew and successfully exited his own previous startup and loves telling the stories of innovators. Email: Edward.Domain@techli.com | @EdwardDomain

View Comments (1)

  • hahahaha I was really hoping someone would take all this seriously. I was proud of my B.S.-ing. LOL